Before I was a Mom...

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooed on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body..
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,

I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom

As moms may we always be overwhelmed by the Grace of God

rather than by the cares of life!!!

Inspiration...

I saw this video on a friends blog and had to steal it and add it to mine too! It made my day and really helped me to stop and think of all that I have to be grateful for...hopefully it will do the same for you:)

Checkup...

It's hard to believe that our little trooper had open-heart surgery just 2 weeks ago! He is doing so good, it's amazing how fast he recovered once we got home. Judd and I keep joking that he must having been saving all his energy up for after he got home from the hospital. He has always been a busy little guy, but he is now even crazier than ever and seriously never sits still! I have to chase him all over the house just to try to get him to eat something.

I took him to his 2 week post-surgery checkup up at Primary last week and they said he looked great! The x-ray looked perfect and they did an EKG and said that everything looked good. I was so thrilled to have good news for once! We have to take him back in July for an ECHO and hopefully things will still be looking good...

Of course I still worry every single day about his heart and I wonder if that subaortic membrane is going to grow back. I worry about how many surgeries might be in store for him and what his quality of life is going to be like...but I try not to think about it too much. Going through this for the 2nd time has made me realize that life cannot be planned and that we are rarely ever really in control of what happens in our lives as much as we all want to be. Being the planner that I am, and also being the very impatient person that I am, has made this a very hard thing for me to embrace...but I now have a greater appreciation for life and I am trying to just live in the moment and enjoy each day as it comes. Cooper is healthy right now and that's all that matters, we are just gonna roll with the punches and have a great summer!

Our little braveheart...

We're Home!!!

Well, the worst is behind us and we are now trying to adjust back to normal life. Cooper is doing great besides the fact that he won't eat. He isn't much of an eater in general but since his surgery he has seriously not eaten a thing! We are constantly offering him all of his favorite foods and he is just not interested at all. I hope he gets over it soon...

I just wanted to write a quick post and let everyone know how much I appreciated your sweet comments, your prayers, and thoughtfulness. I seriously feel so blessed to have each of you in my life. While we were up at the hospital I tried to keep everyone updated through facebook and each time I would post something new I would get SO many uplifting comments from all of you. It is so nice to have such a great support system. I think we now know that Cooper is one LOVED little boy! He had his entire crib filled with cards and stuffed animals and he had so many visitors that we almost couldn't keep up with them.

We were even fortunate enough to get a visit from Carolyn Quigley, president of Intermountain Healing Hearts. It meant so much to me that she cared enough about Cooper and our family to stop by, I admire her more than she will ever know. She is an amazing lady! And so many other "heart moms" that I barely know have been calling and emailing me each and every day. I feel so grateful to have met these women and to have them in my life. I know that these friendships we have formed will last a lifetime and that together we can get through whatever new adventure comes our way. It is so nice to have someone to talk to that has been through it all and really knows how I feel.

I truly feel blessed to be Cooper's mommy, he is a very special little boy. I know that Heavenly Father will watch over and protect him and that he can get through anything. He has proved that to us several times this week. He is a little fighter and he is not gonna let having a heart defect slow him down!

***You can check out my latest project at www.thehopefulhearts.com

I have been busy designing an entire collection of heart inspired jewelry and I plan on donating all the profits to help kids and families with Congenital Heart Defects. Thank you for your support!!!

Cooper the Trooper (day #5)

The next day we were informed that we would be able to go home...YAY!!! I was worried that we would have to stay another day after the yucky night he had the night before, but I think the nurses realized that he would recover much better at home so that was the plan. We ordered Cooper in some pancakes (which he didn't even touch, he just flung them all around the room:) and started getting things packed up. Right before we were ready to leave our nurse came in and told us that the healing dog was on the floor and she wanted to know if Cooper wanted to see him. He was dead asleep and as soon as he heard the word "dog" he perked right up and about jumped off the bed:) He is obsessed with doggies so he was so excited when he got to have a real one in his hospital bed! It was the perfect way to end our stay at the hospital. It was a rough week, but we felt so blessed to have such amazing people taking care of our little guy. Primary Children's is such a neat place, every single person we came in contact with was so great and we will never forget them...

Cooper the Trooper (day #4)

The next day we knew we would be leaving the PICU and going up to a recovery room on the 3rd floor. We were so excited! Cooper was doing great and he was ready to go, but it ended up taking much longer than expected. We didn't get to leave until about 3:00 so we were a little bummed and spent much of the day waiting anxiously. But it was really exciting because we got one of our favorite nurses that took care of Cooper last time as our nurse for that day and it was so fun to see her and catch up. She couldn't believe how big Cooper had gotten and how good he was doing, it was really great to see her:)

We played with toys and walked around the PICU with him and my dad was sweet enough to bring us up a delicious lunch and he sat with Cooper for awhile so Judd and I could eat together. He is so thoughtful and loves Cooper so much, he definitely has that "grandpa touch."

Later that day we were released and headed up to the 3rd floor...Cooper was so excited to have a change of scenery and so were we! We now had our own room with a fold-out bed next to his crib and we even had our own bathroom...It was amazing! They brought him in toys and he was able to get down and play and he even watched a doggie movie, which he was very enthusiastic about:)

I think after getting out of the PICU we were finally able to see the light at the end of the tunnel and we knew that we would be able to take him home soon. He even got to have a special visit from his big brothers, which was just precious...Things were looking good and it was a great feeling!

But of course, in true Cooper tradition, he had to have another little challenge in there somewhere so he started in with the throwing up again and had another terrible night. He was mobile now and did not want to lay in his crib or go to sleep and the poor little guy was so shaky and couldn't keep anything down. He was just miserable, so finally the nurse took away his crib in the middle of the night and replaced it with a regular hospital bed and I was able to lay in it with him and he did so much better. I don't think I slept a wink all night because I was trying to keep his monitors on and I was so afraid he was gonna fall off the bed, but it was so nice to just cuddle and love him all night...It's amazing that with all the medicine and technology we have today that sometimes mommy is still the only thing that can make it all better:)