I feel like I am trapped in the movie groundhog day...You know, the one where the guy wakes up every single day and the same things happen over and over again no matter what he does to try and change them. Well, if you haven't seen it, it's a classic...and pretty funny, but the groundhog day/week/month/year I am having isn't funny at all. It just completely sucks, and I have decided that I officially hate the 3 month stretch from January-March. Besides the fact that they are the yuckiest, most boring months of the year with nothing to look forward to except spring, which never seems to come fast enough...it is also the 3 month stretch that changed our lives last year when we found out that our sweet little baby Cooper had a heart defect and was going to need open-heart surgery to fix it.
I remember that day so clearly, it was January 28th last year and when we found out it was like the whole world stopped. Nothing was the same and those last yucky winter months seemed to drag on as we waited for the news about what was to come. We waited to get in to see the cardiologist, and then waited for the echo date, and then waited for the results, and then waited to find out the surgery date, and then waited for the surgery day to come, and then waited to see our sweet little guy again, and then waited to be able to hold him again, and then waited to be able to take him home, and then waited for him to get better...it was a lot of waiting and I am not a patient person!
I remember waking up every day and feeling the same way every single day...anticipation, fear, guilt, stress, overwhelming emotion...it was just so much to handle. I remember driving the kids to school, going to work, taking them to basketball practice and just waiting...waiting and wondering and stressing. every. single. day.
Well a lot has happened in the last year, but this year on January 22nd I entered into my groundhog day dream again when the cardiologist sadly informed us that our sweet little baby Cooper, who is now a sweet little 18 month old big boy, was going to have to endure it all again. He told us that Cooper has quite a bit of scar tissue now built up around his heart and one of his valves is leaking pretty badly and will need to be repaired and the only way to fix it is open-heart surgery #2.
Now as I go about my day and drive the same icy roads on my way to work and I take the kids to school and to basketball practice and I drive through the slush and gunk up to Primary Children's I have the exact same feeling that I had at this time last year and it just sucks. I want it to go away so badly and I want to wake up and find out that it was all just a stupid groundhog day dream, but I know I won't and I know that this is real life and it's gonna be tough...but we'll get through it.
On March 10th last year our little guy had his surgery and it was by far the hardest day of my life but he made it though and did great and this year on March 1st he will have to go through it all again but we are confident that he will do great again and hopefully this stinkin' groundhog day dream can be put to rest!
Again, I debated on even posting about this. I don't want it to seem like I am trying to get attention or sympathy or anything. I just decided to post about it to let everyone know how much we appreciated your support and prayers as we went through all of this last time. As I sat in the hospital room last year during his surgery waiting and wondering and stressing, so many of your sweet faces came to my mind and I truly felt your love for me and my family and especially little Cooper, and it really helped us to get though it. You will never know how much you have all touched my life and it means so much to me to have so much love and support from our friends and family and even complete strangers. I know that I could never get through something like this without all of you and without the gospel in my life. I have truly been strengthened and lifted up so much during the past year few weeks and I know that Heavenly Father has a very special plan for little Cooper and he will take care of him. I will keep you all updated as I get more info...Thanks so much for your concern:)
0 comments:
Post a Comment